Having experienced the grief of having children pass young is huge, in anyone’s book, but what compounds that loss is the guilt and self-recrimination that we so easily heap on ourselves in such an event. As parents, we are supposed to nurture and protect our children in the certainty that they will reach adulthood and will become the fulfillment of our dreams, our legacy. This is the way it is supposed to be, right! As though the pain of loss is not enough of a “punishment” in itself, we gladly take on more pain. Both these complex levels of pain must be acknowledged and addressed.
Then there is the actual physical trauma of the shock to the body at a cellular and DNA level, precipitated by not only a sudden passing of a child, but also the passing of a child due to prolonged illness that might take months, even years. Both these scenarios and all imaginable scenarios in between that involve the passing of a loved one, carry an immense potential to unleash damaging chemical reactions within the physical body and harmful energetic imprinting to our etheric bodies. These levels of pain are longer lasting and are as important if not more so. We are, after all, a spiritual being having an earthly experience!
There are many prescribed methods or advice given on how to deal with, manage and/or to “recover” from grief and I do not negate any of them. They are offered by well-wishers from a place of love and are a testament to the human’s need to understand and survive the human condition. It can be an extremely harsh experience… if we don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle or are even unaware that life runs far deeper than what we are experiencing at this immediate moment. Sharing our personal perspectives can be deeply healing to all. In my experience there is no “one size fits all” treatment or therapy because each situation has a different set of circumstances and each person is uniquely individual. We would be well advised to honour firstly the uniqueness of each individual, beginning with ourselves when seeking to heal. In my journey I personally have drawn from many different sources and took what resonated with my situation, leaving what did not. Nothing is written in stone as our perceptions can change daily, so do not ever assume you have arrived at the destination – there is no such thing. Change is the constant, both within and without!
As a newly bereaved, the pain is so paralyzing, to the extent that we shrink from the brutal reality of the present circumstances and seem to function in a vacuum. I use these words to simplify and best describe what it feels like. Everything appears disconnected from ourselves. I have come to believe that this state occurs, not so much as a knee jerk reaction in order to survive the pain, but as a result of the protection of our soul, our guides and deceased loved ones who are constantly with us. We are just unaware of their presence. This is our divine support system. It is in this state, where our ego appears to be disconnected that we are most open to communication with the other side of the veil. Yet we somehow miss this opportunity to communicate fully because we are so overwhelmed by the sheer brutality of the pain. We are struggling just to keep breathing. Each breath is laboured and the sobs threaten to choke off that vital intake of life-giving force.
In my following blog posts, I hope to go into each of these levels described above in detail. It is very difficult to discuss each separately as we are so very much more complex beings and all is intrinsically intertwined to make up the whole. Even in writing “the whole”, I am fully aware that the whole extends further and deeper than we can grasp and appears more complicated than we can imagine, yet at the same time is simplistically beautiful. It is, after all, a Divine design that extends into the universe and back to Source.